Today, I want to share with you a few reasons I think the black men in the community should turn to the old school values of courting and chivalry when approaching our young ladies. You know what I’m talking about. Showing tenderness towards the woman you are wooing. Opening car doors. Holding hands while waking down the street. Cooking for the young lady who is the apple of your eye. Buying small gifts and trinkets because you know it will brighten her day. Respectably meeting the parents of the lady and letting them know your intentions with their daughter.

Prove Courting And Chivalry Is Not Dead In the Black Community

If nothing else, just prove these things still exist in the black community. Show the world black men are not animals, but dynamic individuals that express themselves in a variety of ways. We are not all hip hop, N-Word slanging thugs with our pants sagging around our knees trying to hit any and everything that comes our way. We are dynamic men who know the value of a good woman and show it.

Sets You Apart From The Crowd

Here is an opportunity to show you are different. Really separate yourself from the crowd. While all your peers are making it rain, treating women like trash and womanizing, you can differentiate yourself from them completely. The women you are courting and being chivalrous toward will be blown away. A great reputation will form around you all because you act like you got some sense, know how to treat a woman, and carry yourself as a gentleman.

Better Quality of Ladies (Ratchet-Free, Wife Material)

With your chivalrous ways and good intentions of courting the woman of your dreams, you will find a better quality of women in your life. The adjustment in attitude and carrying yourself as a gentleman will put you places to meet ratchet-free ladies with higher standards. Women that many would call wife material. These are the women you want in your life. Women that will help you grow, stretch and challenge you to be a better person. Not the women who just want to take, take, take from you as much as they can get, then discard you when finished.

Deeper Connections and Longer Lasting Relationships

Everyone wants to make deep connections with the mate. Men are no different. By being courteous, chivalrous and court the lady of your dreams, you will build just that. Conversations will be much better and interesting as barriers are lowered, trust is developed. These relationships will last longer and carry more meaning for both people involved.

Disprove the Myth That Black Men Don’t Want To Get Married and Black Marriages Are Dead

There is a nasty myth circling the black community that says black men don’t want to get married and marriages in the community are dead. I don’t believe this for I know a plethora of black men and they are interested in getting married if they are able to find the right woman. Well, if we, as black men, begin to act like men and treat our Queens like ladies, then I think it will open the path for marriage to begin to catch root in the community again.

Setting Positive Examples For Next Generation

Finally and probably the best reason to make a return to old school values of courting and chivalry, to set the model for the next generation. There is no doubt that children are always watching adults for their ques on how they should act. If they grow up around men acting in the manner of gentlemen and treating women with respect, courtesy, and chivalry, then they will do the same. Not only that, the young ladies will expect the same.

Our community are in need of a lot of things. Men returning to our essence of being gentlemen and treating our women with love, honor and respect is a great start.

It is my hope we are able to pull ourselves out of this mess we have found ourselves. There is no doubt we need to do a better job parenting across the board and raising our men and women to be more respectful, even expect more respect from their peers and suitors. The television media isn’t doing their part either with these negative images of black men and women through their series, reality shows, and movies, but we cannot allow that to be the crutch that allows this mess to continue.

It is time we stand up as a people and demand more from all of us. We can and must do better.

 

Source: Courting Her

Sharon Sanders
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