“Given the current racial climate in this country today of police brutality, the locking up and killing of black men, fathers and sons, is leaving too many little African American girls without a father. Without radical change, these incidents will continue to break down the black family structure even more, leaving larger numbers of little African American girls to grow up without their fathers and their mothers to raise fatherless daughters.
The psyche ingrained imprint this has on our community will created more fear, rejection, anger and a real lack of identity collectively. If this doesn’t change, we will continue to see more and more women and girls move through life with a hidden pain of self rejection, low self esteem and feeling of not being good enough because they have no fathers to love and protect them. As a result, the social ills created by such rejection will increase creating more demise within our race and our community.
Now my critics may respond by asking, “What about black men killing black me or black on black crime? Are you not contributing to your own community’s demise?” I recognize the need for real change within our community. I recognized a lot of killings are done to each other, black men killing black men. Yet, According to the FBI’s most recent homicide numbers available, a staggering 83 percent of white murder victims were killed by fellow Caucasians. (Of murders committed by Blacks, only 14 percent were of whites.) And because whites are the majority in the country — there are six times as many whites as there are Blacks — that means they commit the most murders.
Black men are leaving our communities at an alarming rate due to murder and incarceration by the police. We all have seen the studies that show black men or more likely to go to prison and have longer prison sentences than white men. This makes the work that I do so much more difficult when our black men and sons are starting to slowly disappear from our communities.
Studies do show that 70% of black children are born to single mothers. Those mothers are far more likely than married mothers to be poor. Yet, if our black men are being taken away from the community, it leaves no room for them to reconcile and reconnect with their children at all.”
These are the words and thoughts of America’s Leading Authority on Fatherless Daughters, Angela Carr Patterson. Angela is on a mission to help women and girls, who grew up with an unattached, unavailable or absent dad awakened to the truth of who they are, heal their daddy wounds and rewrite a new narrative for their lives.
Growing up without her biological father created many negative consequences in Angela’s life as she became an adult. She was married very young to her first husband, hoping that she would be loved and cherished by him forever. Within seven years they had 3 children and her marriage was sinking fast. After 16 years, Angela’s crumbling marriage ended. Angela was divorced, broke, broken with 3 children, lonely and no plan B.
In her darkest moment, Angela found herself in bedroom closet with the pills in her hand ready to end it all. But something simply would not allow her to follow through. In that brief moment, Angela had a defining moment that changed everything for her. She realized for things to change, she had to change. For things to get better, she had to get better. This realization started Angela on her path to healing.
Today, Angela shares her story of pain, betrayal, fatherlessness and how she was able to heal her daddy wounds and rewrite a new narrative for her life in her critical acclaimed book, I’m Not That Woman…A Fatherless Daughter’s Journey to Being. This book has opened doors for Angela to speak on numerous national stages and international platforms. She’s also the host of a popular online radio show, “Heart Secrets” where she and her guests share the lessons they’ve learned from the stories they dare to share. In addition, Angela co-hosts the regional TV show, Imara Woman.
After working with women from around the world, Angela began to notice some common pains among women. They seemed to struggle in their romantic relationships and in their finances. They struggled in they relationships with men and their relationships with money. Many appearing very successful on the outside but there were some hidden, invisible, muted pains that would show up negatively in their lives. Angela was able to identify that many of these women suffered from issues with their fathers. They were fatherless daughter women.
Angela defines a fatherless daughter as a female who grew up with an unattached, unavailable or absent father. The father may have been physically present, but emotionally absent. Nevertheless this one key missing element in a female’s life can have many negative consequences as she becomes an woman. There are numerous social ills created as a result of fatherlessness for females:
Females Who Grow Up Fatherless Are:
1 Eight times more likely to go to prison.
2 Five times more likely to commit suicide.
3 Twenty times more likely to have behavioral problems.
4 32 times more likely to run away.
5 Ten times more likely to abuse chemical substances.
6 Nine times more likely to drop out of high schools
7 33 times more likely to be seriously abused.
8 73 times more likely to be fatally abused.
9 One-tenth as likely to get A’s in school.
10 On average have a 44% higher mortality rate.
11 On average have a 72% lower standard of living
The above facts are taken from: US Department Health and Human Services, US Department of Health & Census, Rainbow of All God’s Children, Parents of Prison Policy Review 2003 and US Department of Justice Special Report.
Through Angela’s years of speaking on this topic, she shares that a girl receives her identity from her paternal relationship and connections. When this relationship is flawed in any way, interrupted, or even non-existence, the female goes through life with no real sense of identity or purpose. And our pain can never heal until we heal our mis-placed sense of identity. Women and girls continue to suffer because of this one missing element in their lives. And if we don’t do something, they will continue to be an undeserved segment of our population.
Going deeper and offering tools for creating a positive self image is what Angela does in her groundbreaking work, “The Journey to Being Process™.” It’s a result driven program designed to help fatherless girls and women redefine who they are, reclaim their worth and rewrite a new narrative in their lives. In addition the program offers workshops for men and fathers to teach them the importance of their role in the daughters’ lives and how to connect and create deeper bonds with them. Through her Fatherless Daughters Network, a global community of Fatherless Daughter Advocates who have been trained and certified in Angela’s groundbreaking work, they facilitate workshops, events, programs and activities within the communities across the US and Canada.
Fatherlessness is an epidemic and almost everyone woman has been impacted by her fatherdaughter relationship in some way. Studies show that 2 out of 3 children are fatherless. This number does not include those who grew up fathers were in the home, yet they were emotionally disconnected. Angela believes that with the recent reoccurrences of police murders within the black communities, witnessed by little girls, leaves little hope for black girls to ever feel protected by her daddy. One of the most important elements needed for girls from their their fathers…a need to feel protected.
Angela travels monthly training and certifying Fatherless Daughter Advocates in her Journey to Being Process™program in order to have even more advocates averrable to help with the pain of fatherlessness among girls and women. She also hosts an annual Fatherless Girls Summit for girls ages 12-19. It’s a free one day of transformation and healing for girls and their mothers. The girls and mothers from the first summit in 2015, wrote a book entitled, Our Invisible Cries in the Dark…Letters to Fathers From the Daughters They’ve Forgotten. This highly acclaimed book can be found on amazon.com.
As a result of this conference, girls and their mothers learn how to release pain and anger as they embark upon a new journey of love, acceptance and forgiveness. The results have been overwhelmingly positive. It’s one of Angela’s most popular events to date. Angela says, “It’s doesn’t matter if you are 5 or 55, every female longs to be daddy’s little princess.”
Angela has also produced a new documentary entitled, The Making of a Fatherless Daughter where she chronicles the lives of 7 women who grew up fatherless. The documentary also includes experts such as psychotherapists, fathers and family experts, social workers and social workers who weigh in on this topic. The Making of a Fatherless Daughter is due to be released December 2016.
Angela Carr Patterson is on a mission to elevate the awareness that fatherlessness can have on a female’s life and give them ways to decrease the long term negative effects. Where possible she aims to help fathers reconnect and reconcile with their daughters in more meaningful ways by teaching them the 4 P’s every girl needs from her dad. A module taken from Angela’s Journey to Being Process™ curriculum. She says, that she may not ever be able to stamp out or eliminate fatherlessness among girls and women, but she can help them to help and move their lives forward. It just becomes more difficult when the number of fatherless girls keep increasing within the black community. “Not impossible but more difficult,” says Angela
Angela believes that women and girls hold the answers to a lot of the world’s problems. But they must address their pain that comes from their fatherlessness. And as this movement continues, we will begin to witness a radical new shift in the world. Because “When women and girls heal… so does our world,” says Angela Carr Patterson.
Angela Carr Patterson is available for radio/tv interviews, keynotes, panel discussions and workshop facilitation. To book Angela or to discuss ways in which she can bring her events or programs to your area, contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.