My favorite comedian is Chris Rock. I think the way he’s able to talk about reality and make it funny is amazing. I always joke that Chris gives the best marriage advice through his comedy specials and his movie “I Think I Love My Wife” but we’re so busy laughing nobody’s listening. One of my fav routines Chris does is when he’s talking about the media and how black folk blame the media for everything and I started thinking about how has the media shaped our opinion of marriage.

I was listening to Jazmine Sullivan’s album “Love Me Back” and one of her songs “Excuse Me” has this line that’s just flat out beautiful. She sings

“Got me in the kitchen fixing dinner, make me wanna cook and clean, and just to see you smiling at me, baby you don’t even have to ask me, don’t care what the task be if it makes you happy”

And, I was thinking that sounds soooooo good.  Now, if only that’s what the game was really like. I mean for real, how many people REALLY can say they feel that way? Just to see your husband/wife happy, that you’d be willing to do whatever they want?

So I started thinking, is it lines like this that has us thinking this is what marriage is gonna be like? Someone cooking and cleaning the house while they’re smiling at you? I’ve got a RACK of friends who always tell me they wanna be like the Huxtables. But are the Huxtables reality? I can’t think of one episode when Cliff and Claire argued, and I mean ARGUED.

I can’t think of one episode where either of them ever complained about their jobs or money. And even though they were both a doctor and a lawyer, they were always home! No late nights at the office (except if Cliff was going to deliver a baby in the middle of the night) or nuthin! They were always around to be there for whatever their kids needed. There weren’t any arguments over money, sex, that having 6 kids and those 6 kids bringing home other stray kids took away from their time together.

The Huxtables just sang and danced and had fun. And if this is what people expect from their marriage when they say they wanna be like the Huxtables, I hope they’re a sit com character cause what ya’ll saw every Thursday from 8-8:30 ain’t reality!

Sure you can dance and sing and have fun with your wife but you’re also going fight, be frustrated about money sex, your job, life etc. I remember when Tanya and I first got married her boss’ daughter asked her was our marriage like Martin and Gina’s.  And, 9 times outta 10,  that’s what she probably thought marriage would be like. Having fun, your friends over all the time, cracking jokes and again that’s a small percentage of what marriage is about but that’s not the big picture.

By: Rahaman “Kil” Kilpatrick  Source: BMWK 

Sharon Sanders
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