Men are attracted by the physical, but marry character. Newly engaged men said that what attracted them to their fiancées was how classy, positive, energetic, enthusiastic, and upbeat their future wives were - All wives are trophy wives—men marry women whom they admire and like to show off (but not for their physical appearance)

By: John T. Molloy –

This book is based on over 3,000 interviews conducted by Molloy and his researchers. They interviewed couples coming out of marriage license bureaus, and then a control group. The results reflect the statistical tendencies of marriage. Many of the lessons are common sense, but what sets this book apart is its specificity and the statistical backup for its assertions.

Editor’s note: One interesting fact is that this book got positive but mixed reviews on Amazon. It seems that the statistical truths that women who are A) over 35, and B) overweight are much less likely to marry were not well-received by those women who fell into those categories.

The Six Basic Guidelines For Women To Get Married

  1. Insist on it.
  2. If you find yourself in a dead-end relationship, move on.
  3. Love yourself first.
  4. Commit yourself to the idea of getting married
  5. Keep in shape, watch your weight, and take care of your appearance
  6. Time is running out—use time wisely in your search for the marrying man

To maximize your chances of marrying, only date the marrying kind:

  • Most men will not consider marriage before they reach the age of commitment
    • For 80% of high school graduates, 23
    • For 80% of college graduates, 26
    • For college men, the high-commitment period is 28-33
    • For men who go to graduate school, 30-36
    • After the age of 37-38, the chances that he’ll commit drops dramatically. After 43, it drops even more
    • A 40+ man who has been married before is more likely to remarry than an equivalent bachelor is to marry
  • Most men will not contemplate marriage until they have been working and living as independent adults for several years (hence the high-commitment periods)
  • Men become likely to marry after they become uncomfortable with the singles scene
    • E.g. They realize that they’ve become the sleazy old guys who hang out at the bars and hit on younger girls
  • Men do have a biological clock, based on their desire to be an active father (especially to their sons)
  • Misc. negative traits and warning signs
    • Men who see marriage as a financial arrangement in which women have the most to gain
    • Men whose parents divorced when they were young
    • Men who live with their parents
  •  Other key facts
    • Men often marry women whose religion, politics, values, and socioeconomic status match theirs
    • Men whose friends and siblings are married are more likely to marry
      • 60% of the newly married men reported that they had a friend who had married within the last year.
      • Those men who didn’t have any married male friends were 2-3 times as likely to say that they weren’t ready to marry.
      • The majority of men who had seen their friends get married said that if they met the right woman, they’d think seriously about getting married.
  • Avoid stringers, men who string along women but never commit. To filter them out, insist that he commit after six months. Then stick to it, no matter what excuses he gives.
  • Consider unpolished jewels, men who are just as nice, intelligent, hard-working, and successful, but lack looks, height, or social skills.
    • a. 88% of men over 50 who were marrying for the first time were marrying divorced women. The women told the researchers that they had already tried the tall, suave, type, and he didn’t make a very good husband.

First impressions are important

  • 1. Men are attracted by the physical, but marry character
    • a. Newly engaged men said that what attracted them to their fiancées was how classy, positive, energetic, enthusiastic, and upbeat their future wives were.
      • i. While 68% gave a physical description of their fiancée, only 20% said that what attracted them was how gorgeous and sexy their fiancée was. Over 60% described their personalities, even if the women in question were very beautiful.
    • b. Therefore, be positive!
  • 2. All wives are trophy wives—men marry women whom they admire and like to show off (but not for their physical appearance)
  • 3. Dressing appropriately sends the message, “I am wife material.” Men marry women they perceive as “situational virgins” who move easily in their world.
    • a. Editor’s note: In other words, don’t dress like a ho. Men see a sexy outfit as an invitation to have sex.
    • b. Most men decide within 10 minutes of meeting a woman if she’s appropriate for marriage, or just for a casual affair.
    • c. Over 80% of men said or bragged that their fiancée was the kind of woman they were proud to introduce to friends and family
    • d. Over 70% of men said that they knew that their future bride was a “nice girl” the minute they met
    • e. Only 7 out of 2,000 men interviewed said that their fiancée was dressed in a very sexy outfit when they met.
  • 4. If you want to marry a man who is more attractive than you, go for a very good-looking man because he will actually place less emphasis on looks. Women see their own looks as a gift of nature equal to or superior to brains and talent. In contrast, 67% of very good-looking men think of their looks as a minor asset, and say they would rather be smart, rich, or talented. Do the following:
    • a. Approach him. Very attractive men don’t make passes at women because they don’t have to.
    • b. Let him put you on a pedestal. Don’t treat him any differently than you would another man, just because he’s good-looking.
    • c. Let him see your talents and accomplishments. Very good-looking men often marry women who have qualities they lack—education, professional accomplishment, social standing, and ambition.
    • d. Make demands on him. Advise him to go back to school or get a better job.
  • 5. Making a good impression on his family is almost as important as making a good impression on him.
    • a. 5% said that it was their family that had convinced them that the woman was something special
    • b. 30% said that their family’s positive opinion had influenced them
To read this article in its entirety visit Bookoutlines.pbworks.com

 

Michael Bailey
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